To be or not to be, that is the (garden) question. I may or may not have a garden this year.
About a week ago, I woke up and my right hand wouldn't work. My fingers were stiff and wouldn't bend, my wrist would just flop from side to side, and my arm had no strength. I can't hold an eating utensil, or slice off a piece of bread, sign my name or type. I can touch my index finger to my thumb, but that's about it. I've pretty well adjusted to eating and using the computer mouse with my left hand, but I'm still painstakingly typing this by hunt-and-peck, left handed, one letter at a time. I'm quite sure it's a pinched or inflamed nerve from an old and painful shoulder injury. So....why haven't I seen the doctor? Well, it happened just a couple of days before I was scheduled for a colonoscopy. Any of you who have had to prep for this procedure will understand why I didn't rush right in to have the hand taken care of. Unfortunately, the colonoscopy and a blood draw for cea levels indicated a recurrence of cancer, so now a visit to an oncologist is of more importance than a trip to a neurologist.
Mr. Granny knows how I love my garden, and he has vowed to help me as much as he can. I don't know if I should buy seed potatoes, or start the peppers, tomatoes and garden flowers. I'm just wondering, at this point, if just an exercise in futility.
Plant the garden, let your husband help. He who plants a garden plants happiness and hope.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you! Can't imagine what you're going through but I know you're the strongest person I know. When do you see the oncologist? (hugs)
ReplyDeleteOh Granny I'm so sorry. I hope the arm resolves itself. Though you should make an appt with the neurologist as sometimes those specialists take months to get into (though maybe too much to deal with at once). I once had an issue with my left arm (at least my left) and couldn't raise it above my head for about a decade. No strength above parallel to the ground and it gave me intense pain. But it never stopped me from gardening because I could use my hand and arm if it were low. Digging is low.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes the cancer is much more important to deal with fast. Too bad I'm too far away to help out with your garden. I had a friend go through the whole chemo thing with ovarian cancer recently and I spent one afternoon a week at her house gabbing. I wish I could do that with you and help you plant and weed. The only gardening I helped her with was ripping out some lily of the valley that was taking over some of her wild blueberries. I'll be thinking of you.
Oh no! I'm so sorry, I've been reading your blog since I discovered it, and I know how important my garden is to me. God bless you and I'm sure all of your readers will join me in praying for a good outcome to your visit with the oncologist, and for your shoulder. Staying busy is a good way to keep you from constant worry, so I say plant the seeds. Watching things grow is good therapy.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry. And, I know I'm not wise enough to offer any advice. But, what I'm telling myself is that if I were in your shoes I would do whatever I can every day. I woke up thinking that very thing this morning: one day at a time. It's the process just as much as its the end result. Easy to say, I know. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! I am so sorry sweet lady. I will be sending good thoughts your direction. Your health is your first priority of course and I know that Mr. Granny will definitely help. And gardening (the act of doing it) is good mental therapy that will help too. Much love to you!
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry. Please do whatever you can do to make yourself happy, and don't worry about asking for help. I am certain that everyone would be more than absolutely happy to help. I hope you have a speedy recovery - - I've only been a reader for about a year, but I will be thinking about you.
ReplyDeleteOh no, granny! I'm sorry. I agree with the other poster, have Mr. Granny help as he is able, your gardening is your therapy. Sending healing thoughts over the blogosphere.
ReplyDeleteScale it down if you have to for awhile, but plant something! Things growing represent life.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that. You will surely be in our prayers. Looks as if we might be doing some chemo at the same time. I hope you are able to post enough to keep us informed.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Ray
I am really sorry to hear this. Too many things are going on with you and I hope you get strength to overcome all these issues.
ReplyDeleteHugs Granny!
ReplyDeleteGranny I'm so sorry to hear that! My prayers of course will be with you. If I lived on your side of the continent I would be there to help you. Your health is of first priority. I'm sure that Mr. Granny will be a big help. I've found that just thinking about my garden has a calming effect.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear the news. Hopefully you can get Mr. Granny to help you plant a few things that will make you happy. Gardening is a great stress reducer for me, even when all i get to do is look at my planties. Really love my garden even though it is usually a huge mess due to the crazy grass. Prayers that your health issues will resolve quickly. Hugs!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh Granny, Hugs! I'm so sorry to hear your news.
ReplyDeleteWhat a horrible double whammy to deal with, and we're all thinking of you. And you should plant your garden - not fully as you normally do, but your favorites that will brighten your day when you see them grow. your husband and kids can help with maintenance but psychologically it will help deal with every day recovery - at least it did for me at the peak of harvest time dealing with major surgery and long recovery all fall long. I really hope it will turn for the better.
ReplyDeleteGranny, I am so sorry to read this. The garden gives you so much pleasure that I hope you can still grow one but maybe on a smaller scale? No one, not even Mr. Granny will be able to take care of it like you do, and that may be hard on you too, but maybe others in your family can help from time to time? After all, you do share the harvest with them. You are in my thoughts. {{HUGS}}
ReplyDelete*Little Bear Hugs*
ReplyDeleteOh granny I missed this post because I am on wordpress + I don't always get over here. I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you are feeling better. Cancer is awful, I know I have lived with it for 14 yrs, so understand how hard this is to deal with...you are in my prayers. I know you are afraid, but if you beat it before you can again. I have not doubt you will be back and kicking again out in the garden---:-) robbie
ReplyDeleteMy heart sank when I read the news. Without a doubt you have the strength to fight this, you are one tough lady. Do take care of yourself and please don't give up on your garden.
ReplyDeleteI'm so VERY sorry to hear about this.
ReplyDeleteAnd you NEED to plant a garden now more than ever. Many hugs and well wishes.
Any garden is better than no garden. Do what you can. Left handed and small with tons of weeds...doesn't matter. I'm sure that it will lift your heart to have things growing around you. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless You, Granny! We're praying for you! Take good care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteMy dear Granny, I am so sorry to hear this news! Going through it with my dad right now, too. Once you get the doctor's visits done and you can get your hand checked out, you may feel enough like getting out there?? I would think, as others have said, that it would help you-- your mood, your physical strength, your outlook. Do it as long as you can. I'd be there in a minute if I lived closer, fresh bread in hand and Mr Farmer close behind me to help out. I have learned so much from you and greatly appreciate your wisdom. So, even if you can't garden, please continue to help us along in our gardens by sharing your experience. Of course, if it's too much on you, at least take care of yourself. I kinda like you and want to see you stick around. :)
ReplyDeleteGranny,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about this new challenge, both the cancer and the arm difficulty. I pray you'll have wisdom and strength for the course of treatment ahead. Plan a smaller garden that your husband and sons can help you with. You'll want the joy of watching things grow as you face the battle ahead.
I wish I lived closer as I would help you too. I will be praying though!
ReplyDeleteTo all,
ReplyDeleteDo you have any idea how important all of you are to me? This is a difficult time in my life, but your love and compassion mean so very much. We've never even met, but I consider each and every one of you to be my best of friends. Be assured that I'll be right here every day, reading your blogs. When I'm able to type more than 10 words per minute, I'll even attempt to comment. In the meantime, I thank all of you for your prayers, good vibes and well wishes.
Love to all,
Granny
Granny I echo everyone else's sentiments!! We all love your blog and care for you deeply and if only we were close enough to be of physical help!! I hope that you do find a way to garden because as we all know gardening is good for the soul.... we'll all be praying for a healthy resolution of both your cancer and your arm issue.
ReplyDeleteJulie
I agree, any garden is better than no garden. Mr Granny can rise to the challenge and if you can document and type with one finger, get the pics up and let him do the work. I will be watching. If you cannot, then don’t. I will take all of your advice and go forth with my garden and so will everyone else so no matter if you’re laying in bed, your garden lives on in all of us while you rest and get well. Cancer is NOT going to GET you. You are going to kick it’s butt. Just focus on yourself. Alicyn needs her granny and so does the new baby. Your dear hubby needs you as do your kids. We are all rooting for you. I will plant some flowers in your name and if I lived nearby I’d come tend your tomatoes for you. I’m very very sorry to hear of this news and am mad at nature for it’s negative aspects but thankful for it’s positive. I think this sounds really scary and you might want to consider a caring bridge blog about your plight if you can type or talk. There is software that will let you talk and it’ll type for you. I also suggest that you take good care of yourself. I know though that your blogging has been a great diversion for you, so if you do choose to do it, and for your own family to update your “people” http://www.caringbridge.org
ReplyDeletePlease please remember that I care very much about you and will be praying for your good health in the coming days. do keep us posted or see if your kids can as they have time. BIG HUGS and I will send pics of our garden as I get to it.
Love you Carol! Amy in Issaquah
ps. start the potatoes, you love the potatoes! They’re fun to go “steal” a few early on and don’t require much maintenance. Start the tomatoes too. Start the peppers. Your whole family has watched you do them.They have to pitch in. You still have a mouth and a hand and they can assist. It might be frustrating to watch it not be perfectly as you’d like it but it’ll surely be a lesson (maybe super annoying and angering lol, i know all about that) but it’ll happen none the less.) Follow that Nike T-shirt and Just Do It. Ohhhh and if you do have to have stupid Chemo, I hear that baked potatoes are a REALLY great food if you have stomach trouble and nausea. :) HUGHUG!! ugh. I am mad at life for this one.
ReplyDelete:-) just gotta love you guys! News on colonoscopy results...good. Polyps removed benign. Fingers crossed the blood test was false positive, but haven't yet been contacted by oncologist. Dr. appt for hand on Wed. I'm beginning to enjoy the recliner too much. Going to try foot-mopping the kitchen floor.
ReplyDeleteThat is good news. I've got my fingers crossed too.
Deletegranny, you are a warrior and can do whatever you put your mind too. if you need to garden the ruth stout way, so be it. your garden brings you joy. if it seems like too much, maybe scale back a bit or just elicit help from family and friends. I'm praying for you and sending so much love to my favorite garden blogger! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteYay for the new about the polyps. Hope Weds goes as well!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you got some good news. And I hope you'll be able to garden. It doesn't have to be as ambitious as always, but do what makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone who says to plant something. If you think you might need more help than Mr. Granny can or wants to give, I'd put word out that you are looking for an apprentice and are willing to share produce. Thanks for your blog and prayers that you are cancer free and your arm issue resolves asap.
ReplyDeleteToday, I stumbled upon your blog and have already formed a great fondness for you. While I have only read your past few posts, I have learned a lot regarding sprouting seeds and clearly understand why my way of planting an entire packet of seeds at the same time hasn't been the correct way. Thank you for your February journal and advice. After reading the many comments from today, you are loved by many! I look forward to digging in to your previous posts and my garden. I wish you good health and will keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteHope your hand appointment went well. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteNot great news, Peggi. Dr. thinks I had a stroke. MRI will be done on Wednesday. A lot has fallen upon Mr. Granny to do, but at this point I think the garden will have to be severely downsized.
DeleteI hope the MRI went well. Really hope you didn't have a stroke. If so, hopefully they will be able to prevent future strokes and damage. Still praying and sending good thoughts your way.
DeleteMRI is scheduled for next Wednesday, assuming the kidney blood work is OK. I'm beginning to wonder if I have any blood left in me! Daughter says I'm like an old used car, everything breaks at once....time to trade me in for a new model ;-)
DeleteThe older models always last longer than the newer models. Now you know what a pin cussion feels like.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear that! You and Mr Granny will be quite busy working on your recovery, but I hope you'll plant even just a few things -- a real morale booster for an outstanding gardener like yourself! All of us loyal followers of your lovely blog will be sending positive thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteI thank all of you, again, for your well wishes, prayers and personal messages of love and concern. A few have emailed me, as they were unable to leave comments on the blog. I'll attempt some one-handed copy and paste for them:
ReplyDeleteGranny,
I am so sorry to hear about your recent health woes. I wish there was something I could do to help you out! I know you have lots of family that will be there to take care of you if you need it, but just know that you have lots of love coming from Cleveland too! Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Lots of love from the frozen tundra,
Ashlee
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Granny,
I seem to be having trouble leaving comments on your blog. I sent two yesterday that didn't make it. I tried sending one today, but I wasn't sure it made it either. I just wanted to let you know how happy I am to hear of the good news. Hopefully we'll soon hear that everything is all right, and that you're 100% healthy. I'll continue to keep my fingers crossed.
XOXO,
Mrs. R.
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Carol,
Have been busy at work and with the grandkids so I just checked your web site. So very sorry to hear of your health problems. You are one of my longest on line friends and by far the dearest. I will think of you often and send my best wishes for you into space. Write or blog when you feel like you can, or teach Mr. Granny how to blog and Email. Take care of yourself and get well very very very soon. You are loved and respected around the world.
My love to you and Mr. Granny
Love You
Frank Benson
from Virginia
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And a letter of love from my BFF, Norma, who is recovering from some serious health issues. We always did like to do everything together!
Oh, wow - I am too busy lately to check these blogs - but I hope you got a neurologist or a physiatrist, either of whom could help to determine if there's central nervous system (brain or spinal nerves), or maybe a nerve going from your neck to your hand. There's a chance that you might have really irritated the "funny bone" nerve at the elbow, if the weight of your arm was pressing the nerve against the bone for a while. Now - go see one of those docs! They should have your diagnosis pretty quickly. I pray your MRI is clear. God bless you, Annie.
ReplyDeleteoh my I am so sorry to hear about your health issues in the post. I am sending you positive thoughts and love. I know its hard to put yourself first, but I hope you are able to be selfish and take care of yourself the seedlings and garden can wait.
ReplyDeleteI have not been checking my blogs every day and I am so very sorry to read about your health problems. That is so hard to go through when you have been so active. I hope that things will be taken care of soon and that you will be feeling much better. I tend to worry when things go wrong and hope you are not doing that like me. Use your energy to stay positive and get better instead. Thanks for all the help you have been to me. Hugs and lots of get well wishes! Nancy
ReplyDeleteOh dear Granny, I am sorry to hear of this news. I am hoping the follow up brings the best news that can be (hopefully it was a false positive) and I am also hoping this year brings plenty of helpers to your garden who spoil you with their efforts. Wishing I was your neighbour so I could help too, Whit
ReplyDeleteI check into your blog to catch up and see what you are up to (after being away for too long) and what do I find but this post?! Makes me sad you are facing these challenges, but I know how tough you are and how you embrace life with both of your arms and all of your heart... so you will whip this good in time. I am positive about that. Even if you cannot do your full scale garden, a little one would be good to keep you grounded and happy. Nothing like hands in the dirt to keep things in perspective.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted you to know I am 'rooting' for you, sending lots of prayers and love your way! <3 <3 <3 Myself, I am just about to get back into the gardening again. I think of you and all your awesome inspirational comments and encouragement you left me before. Now it's my turn to do so for you! <3
ReplyDeleteLove n hugs,
Wendy / Sassy
Dadgummit I just had a nice little post and it went *poof*
ReplyDeleteI'd said that I was 'rooting' for you and keeping you in my prayers. <3 I think of you often over the years and all of your kind emails and words of encouragement. I'm just now, this year, trying to throw myself back into the veggie garden and really make something of it. Just know I am sending you lots of love n hugs! <3 <3 <3
Bless you Granny.
ReplyDeleteBless you Granny. In my prayers
ReplyDelete